"I hope my daughter never bears her soul at a poetry showcase with her first love sitting in the audience,
knowing that the hands she’ll use to applaud her with, will be the same hands that will never hold her again."Jasmine Mans, Dear Ex-Lover (via batmanliveshere)
How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.
Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.
If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:
“You look so healthy!” is a great one.
Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”
“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”
Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.
Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.
Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.
Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.
Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.
Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.
Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.
Teach your daughter how to cook kale.
Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.
Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.
Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.
Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul."
"Apologies are like oxygen masks on hijacked planes; forgive yourself before you ever forgive the person that’s sitting next to you."Jasmine Mans (via lasciviousangie)
"Why didn’t I learn to treat everything like it was the last time. My greatest regret was how much I believed in the future."Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (via floatingonatidalwave)
"How long has it been since someone touched part of you other than your body?"Laurel Hoodwrit
"Do not try to be pretty. You weren’t meant to be pretty; you were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky. Don’t let anyone ever simplify you to just “pretty.”"
"When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you’ll never get back. Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time."Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life (via floatingonatidalwave)
“This is why a rapist does not have to be physically violent, or state in clear terms that he intends physical violence, for forceful rape to occur. When somebody has illustrated that they are willing and able to step so far outside of the boundaries of human safety, a victim has every reason to expect that there are no boundaries on their behavior. If this person is willing to have sex with somebody who very clearly does not want sex, that person is probably also willing to, or at least capable of, causing physical injury when the lack of consent turns to a physical struggle….
A rapist does not have to use violence. Initiating sex without consent already indicates how little the rapist cares about your consent in the act. How far does that lack of concern extend? Is this the kind of rapist that could continue to enjoy sex when their victim is in obvious physical pain? Could they enjoy causing the pain? Is this the kind of rapist that will happily kill their victim afterwards? A victim has no idea, whether the rapist is a stranger, acquaintance, friend, family member, boyfriend, or husband. Because if a victim could look at a person and know that they were capable of rape, they would not be within physical proximity in the first place. A victim doesn’t know their rapist is capable of rape until a rape begins; and once a victim knows that, they have no idea what else their rapist is capable of. A rapist does not have to threaten further violence. The rape is threat enough.”"
This is so true. When I was raped the most terrifying thing was worrying what else he was capable of.
Reblogging this again because people recently seem to have difficultly with this concept